Thinking
by Dannee-san
Summary: A mindless drabble. A little extra because of Christmas. Very short. Very general. Heero's thinking. Hence the title. I'm babbling. Just read it, please?


AN Old mindless drabble, but I felt I had to publish something extra for underneath the Christmas tree. Just a little Heero-musing.  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah. Right. You caight me. I work with Bandai. I am actually one of the top people and I like to fantasize about the series and the characters and I'm actaully thinking about continuing the series, but I'd like to know what the viewers want to see. Dream on.  
  
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Heero rubbed his eyes and got up. It had been three days since he had left the school, three days since he had danced with Relena, and saved her life.  
  
He had no idea what had possessed him to act in such a manner. He was better off if she were dead, wasn't he? She knew to much. She knew his name, his Gundam. What if she ratted him out?  
  
Would she?  
  
What would she gain from that? Would OZ believe a fifteen year old girl? Besides, hadn't she told him she was on his side now? Or had that been a trick?  
  
Whatever. He had to find a new place to stay. He had been living in the wild for the past three days. It had been a perfect opportunity to settle his thoughts. Unfortunately, it hadn't worked. Not yet.  
  
He couldn't concentrate. His mind was occupied by one thing only. That blond-haired girl kept creeping up on him. He had to get as far from her as he could. She was a distraction.  
  
Why do you make me feel like this, girl? Why can't I just kill you?  
  
His heart pounded in his chest and he stared mindlessly ahead of him, not registering the sight before him.  
  
He had landed his Gundam in a clearing in the woods. It could not be seen from the sky or on radar. He was safe, for now.  
  
Relena...  
  
He didn't understand. He didn't know what he was feeling. He knew basic emotions of satisfaction and disappointment. He knew pain and joy. But this... This was something completely unfamiliar. Something about that girl made his chest tighten uncomfortably whenever he thought of her. Still, holding her while they danced had been strangely... comforting. For a fleeting second he could imagine he was just another average schoolboy, dancing with a girl at a party.  
  
He had never wanted to be normal. He didn't know what it was like, so how could he long for it? But Relena had showed him a glimpse of what normality was, what an average life was like. And now he knew what he was missing out on.  
  
Now he knew what lay beyond missions and objectives. Now he knew what life for normal people was. He began to doubt the use of his mission here on Earth. He was starting an all-out war with OZ. He was slowly steering Earth to chaos. He wondered how many innocent people would get hurt in this. Is it worth it?  
  
He thought back on the situation in the colonies.  
  
Yes, it was worth it. Earth had to know what it was like to have your life disrupted. The colonies were being oppressed in everything. Families had been split for over fifteen years, because members lived on different colonies.  
  
That was what OZ was doing. They were destroying people.  
  
Relena had said she was on his side. He wondered if she agreed with his method of working. Probably not, but he saw it as the only way. And she knew she couldn't lead him astray.  
  
And what about the other pilot? This Duo Maxwell? His Mobile Suite was definitely a Gundam. Not only was it made from the same alloy as his own suite, the design was much the same as well. Obviously, whoever had made it, must have had contact with Dr. J before the radio blackout between the colonies had settled in, right after the assassination of Heero Yuy.  
  
And there had been reports of other mysterious suites that seemed indestructible showing up and blowing OZ bases to pieces. Five suites in all. Should they meet? Would they be able to form one force?  
  
It probably wasn't a very good idea. Hiding one big Gundam was difficult enough. Five was almost impossible. And what if the pilots came with different objectives? Just the fact that they all targeted OZ, didn't mean their goals were similar. Does a cat want the kill the fly buzzing around it for the same reason the bird does?  
  
Heero sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Even though it went against his better judgement, he hoped that Maxwell boy had managed to repair his Gundam. He didn't feel too comfortable with steeling those parts, though it had been necessary at the time. Nothing should get in the way of his mission, not the absence of spare parts, not big blue fearless eyes staring up at him.  
  
Damn it. He had let his mind wander back again. What was it about that girl, that made his hart turn itself into a knot? For some reason beyond his ability to rationalize he believed she was important. Maybe she could fight in the field he had denied himself by his attacks. Maybe she could speak and let the people know not everyone thought war was right and proper. Heero certainly didn't, but his actions rather belied that.  
  
Perhaps she was what was needed to help both the Earth and the Colonies come together after the Gundams had ruffled, hopefully more than a bit.  
  
Dusting his hands he climbed back inside the cockpit and checked if any new missions had come up. It seemed DR. J had indeed sent him objectives that needed to be destroyed. Strapping himself to his seat, he closed the hatch and revved the engines. A few moments later the familiar whine of the Gundam was heard, to be instantly overpowered by the roaring as Heero gunned it and took off, turning his suite into a fighter as it was still climbing.  
  
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AN. This time I won't demand a review and I will fully respect any critique, just don't flame for the fun of it. 


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